Nature Provides Answers

It’s hot and humid in Bahrain, the high temperature is above 100 F most all the days, now and into the foreseeable future. Today’s prompt for The Isolation Journals was to think about a time when nature provided the answer to a pressing question. For some reason, I thought back to February. Not February in Bahrain, where the average temperature is about 70 F, but I thought right away about a February in Iowa eight years ago. It’s been a long time since I’ve longingly thought of winter in Iowa.

It was one of those cold clear nights, with just the right wind and humidity conditions for hoarfrost to accumulate. The next morning was so beautiful. I had a twenty-minute drive to get to school, and I was pushing the limits to get there on time even when I stepped out of my house. When I finally did rush out, I saw the rising sun shining on the dead plants in my herb garden and every other surface in my yard, I just paused in awe and wonder. I decided to stop to take some photos and told myself, “Oh, well, I’m going to be late.” It was quite out of character for me to be late, but I didn’t care.

There wasn’t really a pressing question that day, at least not one that was articulated. But choosing to be late that day has, over the years, been a reminder of sorts to “take time to stop and smell the roses.”

Sometimes we need to stop and just not be so busy. However, it’s not like I had an “a-ha” moment that day, and then changed my whip-frenzy pace and lifestyle. No, it actually got worse a couple years later when I moved to Bahrain. Here, there is never a snow day. (Snow days are a great gift of God, a gift of rest for the weary.)

He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’
and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’

So that everyone he has made may know his work,
he stops all people from their labor.

Job 37:6-7

Even holidays here are filled with activities at church, so there really aren’t even metaphorical snow days.

So, today I remembered that pause in February of 2012. Somehow it reminded me of this coronavirus season. The insidious virus is haunting us, stealing life from people, life that shouldn’t yet end. It is pummeling our economies and people have lost their jobs, some that will never be restored. Spousal and child abuse are on the rise, as is drug and alcohol abuse. Our mental health is breaking down.

However, I can’t help but think of my life before the virus and after. Before, my life was out-of-control, never a moment that I felt I could stop my labor. I NEVER caught up. Piles built up at school until my room had literally become a fire hazard.

I think the quarantine gave me a chance to breathe, to recharge and refresh. It saved my sanity in February. I needed a break, and it gave me new priorities that I hope live on with me into the future. Of course, enough is enough and I pray every day for us to get through this chapter safely. However, perhaps this season is a chance for the world to reevaluate its priorities.

Today is Saturday, Day 130 in Bahrain’s coronavirus time, day 95 of The Isolation Journals with Suleika Jaouad. Today’s prompt is by Azita Ardakani and is quite simple and her writing was so powerful, elegant, and beautiful. It made me love dandelions more. “Write about a time when you had a pressing question and nature provided the answer.”

Why?

Do I hate trump more than I love Jesus? That’s a big question I need to answer.

Why?

Because in my life lately it seems hate is trumping love.

Why?

Because I spend more time watching news and these dark days of trumpidity than I do in meditation and prayer.

Why?

Good question. Because the news is on my smart phone under my fingertips. I’ve paid for NYT and Wapo subscriptions. I use Twitter and Instagram and… and…and…

Why?

Yes, why indeed? I read and view with my mouth agape at the disasters that continually befall our nation. Like a train wreck, I can’t stop watching and reading.

Why?

OK. I guess I can stop watching. I just don’t want to or won’t.

Why?

Because I want to be in control.

Why? 

You’re right. That doesn’t make me in control. Maybe because I don’t think God is controlling things right now.

Why?

It never stops–trump, the GOP, police brutality, racism, hatred, state-sanctioned murder and no accountability. Coronavirus infections. Mask wars, Russian interference, Russian bounties and…

Why?

That’s a good question. All the more reason to spend more time in meditation and prayer.

 

Today is Thursday, Day 128 in Bahrain’s coronavirus time, day 93 of The Isolation Journals with Suleika Jaouad. Today’s prompt is by Suleika by way of Brian Blanchfield. She challenged us to “Look through your past journal entries. Without overthinking it, choose a sentence that intrigues you. Imagine a flashing cursor (or some annoyingly precocious four-year-old) at the end of it, asking why? Answer the question, then ask it again. Continue until you’ve gotten to the heart of the matter.”

Facing Challenge

What is the biggest challenge I am currently facing? 

I am not that far from retiring, but I don’t want to retire from everything. I want to make sure I don’t retire from seeking justice. I have spent too many years not fighting for justice. I don’t want to become an old woman. I want to be a vibrant, alive woman who speaks up against inequity, who demands changes in policing and politics, who goes to council meetings and expects members to mandate police wear body cameras, and more.

These phrases will become my mantras for my life. This is the start of the last chapter in my life where I become a better ancestor.

  • Silent no more
  • Black Lives Matter
  • Be not afraid
  • Be Antiracist
  • Be a better ancestor

The following image was the best thing I saw this week. It’s not about being either racist or not racist. Racism is in our roots and blood. Not everyone is guilty of horrifying and overt acts of racism, but we all positively live with the effects of it in our world. We can all point it out and help to dismantle it, making a new future.

Today is Wednesday, Day 127 in Bahrain’s coronavirus time, day 92 of The Isolation Journals with Suleika Jaouad. Today’s prompt is by Ethan Zohn: “Write about the biggest challenge you’re currently facing. Now think of a series of words, phrases or even part of a quote that have helped get you through some tough moments. Use those words to compose a mantra of your own. Chant it to yourself whenever you need it.”

Stories

Story is a motif in my life. I have stories of my childhood, stories of dysfunction. Stories of family, striving parents, fun cousins, so many siblings, faithful husband and delightful daughters. The stories continue on generation after generation, as the older generation leaves us.

I have stories of students and my life with students in California, Iowa, Michigan, Arizona, Bahrain. Stories I am profoundly proud of and stories I am so ashamed of.

I have stories from the Bible that have transformed me and helped me understand life. Mary breathing in deeply of the stories of Jesus, finding the most important thing. Zacchaeus on the wrong side most of his life, gets a new start. Bartimaeus given his sight and a choice to go on his way. He chose the Jesus road.

Jim Carrey said, “I act because I’m broken in a lot of pieces and acting gives me a chance to reconfigure those pieces into 1,000 different things that are positive for people to watch.” Stories are the way for me to reconfigure my broken pieces and help my life fit back together.

Today is Tuesday, Day 126 in Bahrain’s coronavirus time, day 91 of The Isolation Journals with Suleika Jaouad. Today’s prompt is by Michelle Ross. Her  lovely music accompanying today’s prompt is Bach’s Ciaccona, a theme of eight measures followed by sixty-four variations. The prompt is about considering, as Milan Kundera puts it, the “infinitude hidden within all things.” Thinking of a motif or question in your life and write about it, “considering the question of whether you find meaning through repetition, or if the journey takes you farther away.”