Our sweet Phoebe, my granddaughter, has died after a too short life. This Sunday it will be three weeks, and I still have a hard time believing it is true. This little one we have loved for almost a year as she grew and then was born healthy and whole.
Some of you have already heard our bad news on social media. Thank you so much for all the love, thoughts, prayers, a poem, and a grief journal that have come my way. My family and I feel love and support from so many.
I had been writing the following poem all month, planning to post it this week with the Poetry Sisters . When I had written ten ways, Phoebe went into the hospital with bacterial meningitis.
Thirteen Ways to See Phoebe
After Wallace Stevens
I
Woosh! Breathing here and now
II
In the downturned lips,
a pout of strength
III
Resolute wrinkles
fill with sunrises
of promise
IV
Radiant shining one,
so bright and crimson
V
In the divided world
of 2024, a bright
granddaughter unites.
VI
The sound rises and falls
with the moon-led tide, as
she fills our hearts
VII
Quietly opens the door
to a houseful of fun
and longing
VIII
Concentrated focus—how she looks
into the world and guides me to do likewise
IX
Head held high on
an August afternoon,
a generation
of hope
X
Furrowed brow of contemplation
XI
With tubes and wires
we long for wholeness,
holding her in love as we pray and wonder
XII
With her kidneys, she
gave renewed life to two others
XIII
Gone and remembered
August 13, 2024 – September 8, 2024
Irene Latham at Live Your Poem is hosting Poetry Friday today.
Denise, this is a lovely and bittersweet poem. I know Phoebe’s passing has been heartbreaking for your family. Holding you all in my heart.
I’m glad you started this poem in Phoebe’s early days so it captures the many phases of her beloved, short life, even as it hurts to read about the promise and expectations of a future. We can see that furrowed brow and those resolute wrinkles. There’s so much love here. Sending you hugs, as always, Denise.
What I can share is that I lost a little brother many, many years ago. And those of us who are still here still speak of him and the joy he brought in his brief time with us. I know this will happen with Phoebe, the remembering, now with such sorrow, but even in those few weeks, you’ve shown how she brought happy days, as you wrote, “a bright
granddaughter unites.” and her guidance to you to look more closely at the world. I am so sorry for your sad loss, Denise, but I am glad Phoebe brought you loving words to write for her.
Same here, Linda B. I lost a little brother when I was 12. It marked my family forever.
Denise, I have thought of little Phoebe many times. I have said so many times that life is uncertain and fragile. May the Lord bless this little one who is now one of the angels in heaven.
Your poem is tender, loving, and beautifully written. It cannot be easy to remember the highs and lows of her little life.
Concentrated focus—how she looks
into the world and guides me to do likewise – What a beautiful thought filled with hope!
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Oh Denise. I am writing “Phoebe Rhonda” in my notebook and thinking of all of you as you move through this… these lines in your earlier post are so so tender and I am holding them close as well. xo
Our tiny green branch
on the family tree
is now weeping
Denise, I am heartbroken for you and your family. Such a beautiful, innocent life lost as it was just beginning. Sending you comfort and hugs in this time of tragic difficulty. Much love!
Denise, I am so sorry.
Already, within the first tender lines of the poem we could see that she would be a resolute, stalwart little person – and a blessing. May her memory be as well.
I am so sorry to hear about Phoebe (did not know until I read this post today). In your poem you’ve turned heartbreak into a beautiful loving tribute, shining light on each phase of her life, its wonders and joys. Sending love, hugs, and prayers to you and your entire family.
I am so sorry to hear this news, Denise. I could not get through reading the poem without tears, feeling your heartbreak. Thank you for this glimpse of Phoebe and what she brought to the world in such a short time. She will be forever in your hearts.
Oh Denise–I am so sorry to learn of your beautiful little Phoebe’s passing. Your poem filled my heart with tears and brought back the memories of my first born, Ben, who died at 13 months (and in another universe would be 38 today. This is a way I suspect your daughter will track time.) I wish I could lessen yours and her pain. I hope the day arrives when her memory brings more light and love than grief. Thank you for sharing her life with us.
Denise, friend, after being away from blogging, seeing others’ blogs, and social media of many sorts, I saw your comments on my own (older) blog posts. I came to your blog right away and saw this reflection on your family’s loss.
You know I’m not a mother, and I’m trying to understand even a portion of your loss. I think so much of it is because it’s your own baby’s loss. Your “baby’s baby,” for sure. My mom always told me she’d rather go through our pain than watching us go through it. The pain you must feel for your own baby, your own daughter… All our hearts are breaking for you. My hope for you now is you continue loving the way you do – everyone you meet – and that your love spills over in their lives and keeps multiplying. This love will be with you and your family through this grief. Reach out, as friends want to help where we can. Hugs, friend.
Denise, I know there aren’t words to convey how sorry I am for this vast loss. I’m grateful you feel safe enough and loved enough to share here online and to know you’re getting an outpouring of love in return. I’ve been thinking about your family a lot this past week. Your poem is so visceral. The fact that you lost this tiny, enormous light while writing this poem…Hugs to you and yours. <3
What a tragedy. I’m so sorry…how beautiful the bright, wonderful love Phoebe brought and shared. It’s just not right that she’s gone. I’m so sorry and pray for you and your children as they learn to live without her. It’s simply unimaginable, I’m sure. I hope every day they can remember and live fully at the same time.
Oh, Denise! I didn’t know — I missed making the rounds last week and I’ve just now read of Phoebe’s death. I have no words. I’m just devastated for you all. I’m so, so sorry. She is gorgeous, and I know you all are gutted. All I can say, again, is that I’m so very sorry. xo