“I’m just very fearful,” the white woman said at a school board meeting. (See video at the end.)
Actually, I’m not very fearful. My white privilege has put me in a position where I don’t have to fear living in my skin. I have two amazing daughters who have their own families now. And, bonus: this week my younger daughter and her dear husband are working from our home. Their offices have been moving around our place based on several factors–whether or not they are in a meeting, which porch has the perfect sunniness, where the wind shelters them, and today they’ve moved indoors because of the cold morning.
On a more serious note, “I’m just very fearful” about the people who are so afraid of losing their position of white supremacy that they are killing others.
I remember when my kids were little there was a report, likely after a census, that predicted when the number of non-white people in America would surpass the number of white people. It was going to be by the year 20?? (I forget). It hasn’t happened yet, but lately I have noticed the impending change has cemented the culture of “white supremacy,” proving it is alive and sick in America. The fear that white supremacy might come undone seems to feed the ubiquitous gun culture too. This fear has gripped the lives of so many that now they are shooting neighbors and innocent travelers, not just nefarious intruders. Racism, white supremacy, religious fundamentalism, the history of the second amendment, and guns–they are all eternally entwined.
The following poem is written in the voice of a member of Moms for Liberty. (Watch the video below in Kenny Akers’ tweet. The quote “I’m just very fearful” comes from her statement at the school board meeting.
I’m just very fearful Impossible to be cheerful Replacement makes me tearful
I’m just very fearful My white children will feel too awful if you tell them their history is bad-full
I’m just very fearful Do I worry he will grow up to pull the trigger? — I’m just very fearful
Mom's of Liberty on school board tried to explain to the NAACP why she disagreed with diversity, equity, and inclusion. This is why I bring awareness! ✊🏾 pic.twitter.com/aGEtEBWH9z
Oh, yes, of course, I’ll stop shooting in my yard!
I guess I didn’t realize it was already 11.
I probably didn’t need that last beer.
Yes, yes, your baby needs to sleep.
How about if we sit outside and visit?
I know we’ve quarreled in the past,
and I’m sorry about that.
But I’ve heard you are a kind bunch—
You have a big family, don’t you?
Can I get you a Coke or a cup of herb tea?
Let’s sit on the porch and visit for a while.
This month I am digging through magnetic words with Laura Salas and others. We are making tiny poems. Yesterday, when I saw the words fear and arm in the upper left hand corner, I knew I had to write about guns.
The titles needed to be north, south, east, west or directions. While these titles didn’t really fit, I figured West was most appropriate. Historically, we’ve acted as if the west is more civilized–[read white supremacy]–but we are proving yet again this is not the case. Here is what I wrote yesterday for Laura’s challenge:
Don’t Go West frantic mind crush armed up for delirious fear
Then yesterday and today at #Verselove, I couldn’t write about anything else. Here is a Fibonacci poem inspired by some of the words above.
Besides making tostadas for my sister and me, taking a walk around Abel’s Mountain, and spending an hour with my grandson while he spun in circles on his tummy and ate a good dinner, I also had some difficult issues on my mind.
Because of a movie he saw recently, my husband has been thinking of the futility of war, and especially how it relates to what Putin is doing in Ukraine We had this conversation this morning:
“I can’t get All Quiet on the Western Front out of my mind. Aggression in war is so foolish. Why…? Pride…? Stupidity…? Evil…?” my husband mused.
“Yes,” I said.
“There is never a good outcome,” he said. Then he played this song for us to listen to: (lyrics here)
The other thing on my mind, of course, is gun violence. Yesterday, six more people were gunned down in school: Evelyn Dieckhaus, Hallie Scruggs, and William Kinney, each 9 years old; and Cynthia Peak, 61, Katherine Koonce, 60, and Mike Hill, 61. May they rest in peace. I wrote a letter to my Republican representative today asking him to be brave and do the right thing. You can read a copy here, if you want to.
I can’t believe all the gaslighting that goes on for schools to keep having lockdown drills and expecting our children to plan to get shot up in school. This is ludicrous and does not happen in other countries. When are we going to demand action?
I am participating in the March Slice of Life Challenge: A slice a day for all of March. Thank you, Two Writing Teachers!