Feeling Overwhelmed

Day 30

It is not often that I feel overwhelmed, but today I did. It’s now almost midnight in Bahrain, and I have been working at three computers all day long trying to edit songs for a virtual choir for the Good Friday online service.

Here are the three computers–note that they are all waiting for something! (That’s been most of my day!)

When all three computers were rendering, transferring, or uploading gigantic files, I would go to the kitchen and make applesauce or a pot of soup. When I got really frustrated, I walked away and read. I’m still reading Suleika Jaouad’s memoir:

So, as you can see I did not only sit and edit songs in baby steps all day long. The little editing I was able to do came with dozens of hourglasses (on the Windows machines) and spinning rainbows from hell (on the Macbook). Sometimes the hourglass would finish it’s buffering, and sometimes it would close the editing program. Sometimes the rainbow from hell would finish and let me work on the video for a few edits before it got gunked up with the big files, and sometimes it would just shut down.

When it got overwhelming, I walked away to do something for me or something productive. It was either that or throw one of these darn laptops through the wall.

Today, I made a decision though, one I should have made months ago. I will say no to any future editing requests that include big video files. These laptops and Wondershare are not cut out for what I’ve been asking of them. Surely someone else can do this work more reasonably than I! Any successful videos from me come only with hours of patience, ridiculous rendering, TLC, and prayer.

8 thoughts on “Feeling Overwhelmed

  1. It is so frustrating waiting for a computer to do its job. In my classroom all my students are familiar with the term, ‘circle of death’
    I think it is wise to say ‘no’ to future large files. The aggravation just isn’t worth it. Enjoy your applesauce and soup.

  2. I think you are a saint to have taken on this task! I would have had a pulsing headache. Such work! I hope everyone was so appreciative of the videos!

    1. I have two more days to finish, and we’ll see how they turn out! It’s a slow process. The choir director, an excellent musician, but with admittedly no editing expertise, is only thankful and appreciative that I’m giving it a try. He only says good things, even though I’m sure I, as not much of a musician, make errors matching the voice tracks to the vocals, etc.

    1. Yes, I did make conscience self-care decisions in my frustrations yesterday. Suleika’s book is wonderful. It’s a great mentor text for writing description, I’ve been feeling. I’ve been following her since during the pandemic with The Isolation Journals writing prompts. It feels good to get to know her through the book. Especially to know the other side of her harrowing treatment is a vibrant woman living life to the fullest now.

  3. You know God never intended us to see a rainbow as something from hell! I’m glad you walked away to read and make applesauce. 😋 But most of all I’m glad you have decided to embrace the power of “no”!

    1. Yes, embracing the power of no. It seems at my age I would have learned this sooner. I am feeling empowered again. I do have choices. Yes, why does Apple use a spinning rainbow pinwheel of all things to be what frustrates us!?

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